THE BEST FILMS OF THE DECADE; I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM

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Skip Joe's nonsense and get straight to the list.

I've been putting it off long enough: It's time to discuss my movie spreadsheet.

I've mentioned my movie spreadsheet on the radio show and on the podcast a few times, but they've only been fleeting comments. You know I love and live movies. That's no secret, but it's way past time to come completely clean: this part of my life is flamboyantly OCD and quickly confirms that when it comes to movies, I have serious problems.

To admit it is freeing: I have a movie spreadsheet. It's the first thing I moved over to the new laptop. If spreadsheets could be saved from a burning home I'd dive in Backdraft-style to save my spreadsheet's life (provided my family was out, of course). My movie spreadsheet probably needs a name. (email me here to suggest one)

From the moment I got my hands on the ability to spreadsheet--which would have been around '96 when I bought myself my first computer (a mac powerbook) with my first credit card (Best Buy)--I was cataloging my movie going. That first go 'round, I made a simple list of the movies I saw that year using whatever the Excelish program was at the time. At the end of the year, I probably ranked them to create a top ten. Nothing too weird.

The new year began and I repeated that process until, after a couple of years, I'd added a column here and a column there.

13 years later, It's evolved into nonsense....delicious, anal retentive nonsense.

My movie spreasheet lives in Excel and the worksheet tabs are full calendar years in descending order from left to right. Months before 2010 was here, the 2010 worksheet was filled with titles of films expected to open in 2010 in anticipation of my eyes laying upon them.

Here's each year's layout, from left to right:

It begins with all the movies I've seen during the year in descending order of preference. Ideally, the year end top ten creates itself since my favorite sits at the top with #2 below it, etc. (at the time of this writing Inglorious Basterds sits at the top, but I can't decide if it deserves it or not--in a few weeks I'll reveal my top ten of 2009 and you'll see where it landed).

Next to each film title is a 'T' for theater or 'V' for DVD. That data is fed into a ratio. At this writing, 73% of the 2009 release films I've seen were in the theater.

Then, every movie currently in theaters is listed in descending order of preference. At this time, the movie in theaters I want to see most is Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. It is in red text because it's not in Corpus Christi.

Under the 'in theater' section is every movie that I know of coming out between today and Dec. 31 in chronological order.

Then, movies I missed in the theater that I want to catch on DVD are listed in descending order of preference. The movie at the top of the list is on the top of my Netflix queue. Eventually this list gets to the point of abandonment.

Then, the final list is movies from this year that I never want to see in no order at all. Sorting alphabetically the first five are: 12 Rounds, Bandslam, Carriers, The
Collector, and Confessions of a Shopaholic.

I've got a serious problem. I've done this all the way back to 1990.

So when Ethan and I decided to rank the best films of the 2000s on The Movie Hour Podcast I knew I'd have no problems because I already had the films ranked in descending order year to year. I'd just cut and paste the tops of each year together and rerank and voila.

I have serious problems. I cut and pasted the top 20 films from each year into one list and began comparing film to film in pairs. My favorite of the two gets a value of one, the other a 2. I then created an average of each film's value. So after one round the averages were either 1 or 2. Resort, repeat. Trends start to occur. Films having more 1's than 2's go to the top of the list. Films with more 2's go to the bottom of the list. At the end of the process, one film will have all 1's and be #1, etc. I have serious problems.

At the end of the day the order is more or less correct. I'd say #1-#3 are concrete, but you could easily swap a few. The film at #11 or #12 could just as well be #8 or #10.

AND AFTER MANY DRAFTS AND HAND-WRINING DOUBLE THINKING, IT ALL CAME DOWN TO THIS:

#10. Moulin Rouge!, 2001

The early 00s saw a string of the movie musicals. Chicago won the Academy Award for best picture a year or two later without deserving it and, I believe, as a delayed 'oops' for MR not getting more attention. The forbidden love story is a wonderful skeleton to hang the delightfully manic meat of this film: the retreads of 80s pop songs, the go-for-it-all character commitment of everyone with extra kudos to Jim Broadbent, John Lequizamo and Richard Roxburgh and the lush, overrich art direction to name a few. When no one's looking I'll throw The Elephant Love Song Medly into my iTunes DJ a few times. MR is very much deserving of the excalmation point in the title.

#9. The Incredibles, 2004

We're going to quickly see a trend here with the themes of meeting (or failing to meet) your potential and coming of age. I'm a sucker for both. Young Dash running into and over the water as he is allowed to fully flex his muscles, and the in-awe-with-himself giggle he can't help but let go defines the viewers reaction to this whole film. The Incredibles is Pixar's best film since the Toy Storys with flawless voice work, animation, and what continues to set Pixar apart: story. Not a fart joke or clever timely pop culture reference in sight--just smart animated filmmaking for adults and children alike.

#8. Y tu Mama Tambien, 2002

Coming of age again, and the confusion young adults can feel about themselves and each other when they dabble in sticky sexual situations best left to adult professionals. Youth is fearless and brash which doesn't go hand in hand well with immature and stupid. Having everything to prove to themselves and one another, two young men are ill-equipped to deal with the journey they throw themselves into. A great import (the only one on my list) and the birth of Cuaron, Diego Luna and Gael García Bernal as someone to pay attention to.

#7. Almost Famous, 2000

Coming of age, anyone? If my wife were making this list, AF would be at the top of her list. She loves it which means I watch it a lot. It's one of those of films that we pop in once every 6 weeks while we clean house, pausing at the TV at key scenes. This is my favorite Crowe film. I'll say it. Take that Maguire and Say Anything. Fish out of water never felt so sweet as Crowe creates his unique biography--writing as a minor for Rolling Stone with the best bands in the world. To good to be complete fiction. Kate Hudson's only good film performance.

#6. Before Sunset, 2004

Love lost with an ample dose of regret delivered in real time on the streets of Paris. Nothing really to say. If you've seen it you love it or don't and I don't feel like convincing the latter why their wrong. Beautiful film.

To hear #5-#1, tune into Episode 35 of The Movie Hour.

My movie spreadsheet's out...I feel a burden's been lifted. A new me arises.

Now, what's coming out in 2010?