800 years from now, according to the new Pixar film Wall-e, humans will grow into fat blobs whizzed around on automatic scooters through a huge spaceship owned by a single conglomerate while drinking all of their meals on-demand and constantly watching traveling, hologram televisions. In a how-true-could-this-be moment I find myself in Wal-Mart immediately after viewing the movie where, at the entrance, three different fat people are climbing into three different Wal-Mart-provided scooters. I began laughing in the store.
Obese rights organizations (they have to exist, I assume) will most likely be up in arms about Wall-e as will many other PC-sensitive-environment-picket-anything-we-remotely-don’t-agree-with groups. (I’m thinking here about the anti-greenhouse gas folks--I'm imaging the phrase 'liberal agenda' bandied around).
As interesting as Pixar’s vision of the future is, this film isn’t even about the humans in the film. It’s about a robot. A robot whose two greatest desires are to remain an individual in a clone-like society and to find companionship after years of isolation. The film succeeds in showing us that these two desires—retaining individualism and living among a society—are not mutually exclusive.
At the beginning of the summer I said the two films I was most looking forward to were the new Indiana Jones and Wall-e. Both of those picks were based on past performance: a nostalgic love for Indiana Jones and the .1000 batting average of Pixar. Sure, I can rank the Pixar movies from my least to most favorite (That would be Cars and The Incredibles, respectively), but even the worst Pixar movie is better than that best animated film from any other studio. Prior to Wall-e, I’d considered Indiana Jones a failing disappointment with Iron Man the summer film to beat. After Wall-e, it’s a tough call which will require a little thought as to which film is better.
Prior to seeing the movie I was a little concerned because the marketing of the film was not strong. It relied on slapstick gags (of which there are tons), but thankfully the trailer only revealed 'get to know Wall-e' moments from the first act.
Mild spoilers:
In the future we are forced to leave earth because we’ve overrun the planet with our garbage. The corporation that now runs the planet leaves behind robots whose job is to manage the garbage while humans are aboard a mega spaceship drifting around space. IN due time the other robots either break or quit leaving only Wall-e who has grown a personality to cope with the solitude. A probe ship sends EVE, a newer model robot to search for any sign of new, growing life on earth. Wall-e and EVE create a relationship and when EVE is recalled from earth into space Wall-e follows.
Wall-e is a phenomenal film. Thank goodness for Pixar who teaches us once again, that the foundation for any film, even for children who clamor to see anything, is story. The humans in Pixar make brief appearances leaving the bulk of the story told in limited one-word dialogue between robots. Pixar reminds us again and again that we don’t need a sequel, we don’t need characters we’re comfortable with, we don’t need ironic pop culture references, we don’t need fart jokes…we don’t even need dialogue. We need richly textured characters and a story to engage us. Once again Pixar nails it.
At this date in the summer, I'm torn between which of the two films (Iron Man and Wall-e) is better...so as of now we'll call it a tie, and, after some thought, I'll let you know. Until then there's nothing wrong with declaring that there are two great films out there right now. Go see them.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY review
You know by now that I keep a detailed database of all the movies I've seen and that are coming out.
The spreadsheets are by year.
Column #1: The movies I've seen this year in rank of my preference of them (from best to worst of the year; my top ten list is all ways complete; currently at #1: Iron Man)
Column #2: Movies currently in release in the order I wish to see them.
Column #3: Upcoming releases in chronological order
Column #4: Movies I didn't see in theater that I hope to see on DVD in order I wish to see them (currently at #1: Son of Rambow -- didn't come to CC)
and finally Colum #5: Movies I didn't see and never want to (a few on the list: Mad Money, How She Move, Meet the Spartans)
Sitting at the top of Column #4 for 2007 for 1/2 a year (bc it didn't come to CC) was The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
from imdb.com:
It had been so high up on the list bc critics that I trust said it was amazing. The word was that it was a 'life changer', a film so sweeping in his emotional scope that it would rattle around in your life forever: a Shine, a Garden State.
It is always interesting when I competely disagree with critical consensus. My initial impression is that I didn't 'see it correctly.' Back when Pulp Fictioncompletely blew the world away, I remember getting indignant with friends who were ambivalent or dismissive. "You just don't 'get' it," I'd bristle.
Someone said that to me recently on air about Sex in the City (review forthcoming). Who was right then and who is right now? I'm still not sure. Diving Bell simply didn't work for me on the level that, for 1/2 a year or more that I'd been waiting to see it (nestled there at the top of column #4), I'd hoped it would. On the level 'they' say it should. Knowing it is a true story, you're quick to admire Jean-Do's tenacity. Cinematically though it relies on gags like the blurred vision poin-of-view shots. Jean-Do's back story is never fleshed out so that you care about his plight on a personal level.
This film will appeal to many; it just didn't work for me.
The spreadsheets are by year.
Column #1: The movies I've seen this year in rank of my preference of them (from best to worst of the year; my top ten list is all ways complete; currently at #1: Iron Man)
Column #2: Movies currently in release in the order I wish to see them.
Column #3: Upcoming releases in chronological order
Column #4: Movies I didn't see in theater that I hope to see on DVD in order I wish to see them (currently at #1: Son of Rambow -- didn't come to CC)
and finally Colum #5: Movies I didn't see and never want to (a few on the list: Mad Money, How She Move, Meet the Spartans)
Sitting at the top of Column #4 for 2007 for 1/2 a year (bc it didn't come to CC) was The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
from imdb.com:
On December 8, 1995, Jean-Dominique Bauby - age forty-three and editor-in-chief of the world-famous fashion magazine Elle - was living the "good life" to the extreme when he became the victim of a devastating cerebro-vascular accident that left him in a state of total paralysis, incapable of any verbal communication, in what is known in the medical community as "locked-in syndrome." His mental faculties totally intact as he laid motionless in his bed at the Marine Hospital of Berck-sur-Mer in northern France, Bauby learned to communicate with the outside world using his left eyelid, the only part of his body over which he still had any control. During the next fourteen months, using a communication code developed by his therapist and his publisher's assistant, who transcribed this code, Bauby was able to compose, letter by letter, a lyrical and heartbreaking memoir of his life struggle. Bauby died in 1997, two days after its publication.
It had been so high up on the list bc critics that I trust said it was amazing. The word was that it was a 'life changer', a film so sweeping in his emotional scope that it would rattle around in your life forever: a Shine, a Garden State.
It is always interesting when I competely disagree with critical consensus. My initial impression is that I didn't 'see it correctly.' Back when Pulp Fictioncompletely blew the world away, I remember getting indignant with friends who were ambivalent or dismissive. "You just don't 'get' it," I'd bristle.
Someone said that to me recently on air about Sex in the City (review forthcoming). Who was right then and who is right now? I'm still not sure. Diving Bell simply didn't work for me on the level that, for 1/2 a year or more that I'd been waiting to see it (nestled there at the top of column #4), I'd hoped it would. On the level 'they' say it should. Knowing it is a true story, you're quick to admire Jean-Do's tenacity. Cinematically though it relies on gags like the blurred vision poin-of-view shots. Jean-Do's back story is never fleshed out so that you care about his plight on a personal level.
This film will appeal to many; it just didn't work for me.
THE HAPPENING review
The Happening is M. Night's worst movie.
The Happening is the worst movie I've seen this year.
The Happening is the worst movie I've seen in two years.
I had to back to 2005 to find a worse movie: Cursed.
SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT
Plants are releasing toxins into the atmosphere that cause humans to commit suicide. It's a full blown assault from nature since the plants and the wind are in cahoots. You know you're about to be poisoned because there's a gust of wind before it happens. There are things you can do to prevent from being poisoned. In one scene the 'toxin-filled wind' blows over our players and they're fine bc they do something specific. Then, in the cheapest ever way to produce tension, the thing they do to keep from being toxified doesn't work anymore--no explanation why it did and now doesn't is deemed necessary. Characters make decisions that no human ever would in order to simply propel the story. For no reason, The plants suddenly stop releasing their toxins. Movie over. Insert predictable 'It's happening again' 'twist'. Credits.
The acting is horrible. The screenplay is hilariously bad. M.'s new card for this film is the 'R-rated let's see some gruesome suicides', but the context within which we view them (someone running, freezing midstep, staring blankly, slowly walking to the gun to shoot themselves, or slowly jabbing the knitting needle into their throat, or slowly turning your car wheel into path of a tree, etc) is executed so poorly that you can't help but chuckle into your popcorn.
If Lady in the Water was M.'s career getting into the coffin, The Happening is the first nail.
The Happening is the worst movie I've seen this year.
The Happening is the worst movie I've seen in two years.
I had to back to 2005 to find a worse movie: Cursed.
SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT
Plants are releasing toxins into the atmosphere that cause humans to commit suicide. It's a full blown assault from nature since the plants and the wind are in cahoots. You know you're about to be poisoned because there's a gust of wind before it happens. There are things you can do to prevent from being poisoned. In one scene the 'toxin-filled wind' blows over our players and they're fine bc they do something specific. Then, in the cheapest ever way to produce tension, the thing they do to keep from being toxified doesn't work anymore--no explanation why it did and now doesn't is deemed necessary. Characters make decisions that no human ever would in order to simply propel the story. For no reason, The plants suddenly stop releasing their toxins. Movie over. Insert predictable 'It's happening again' 'twist'. Credits.
The acting is horrible. The screenplay is hilariously bad. M.'s new card for this film is the 'R-rated let's see some gruesome suicides', but the context within which we view them (someone running, freezing midstep, staring blankly, slowly walking to the gun to shoot themselves, or slowly jabbing the knitting needle into their throat, or slowly turning your car wheel into path of a tree, etc) is executed so poorly that you can't help but chuckle into your popcorn.
If Lady in the Water was M.'s career getting into the coffin, The Happening is the first nail.
INCREDIBLE HULK Review
Fathers' Day. My 7-year-old son and I go to The Incredible Hulk.
I'm not a Father's Day guy. It's a fake made up holiday built to sell cards and ties and knick knack crap with green felt on it. I demand no money be spent on me outside of a few homemade cards that I'll keep forever. BUT I will take advantage to spend a little 'guy time' with the little dude at the movies. Now, I get some criticism for taking they 7-year-old to the non-horror, big budget summer films as long as they're PG-13 and I've done some due diligence. It makes me happy to know that we'll do that together for years to come (until he's 15 or so and I'm no longer cool). He loves movies, he loves movie hype and typically likes everything he sees--to me he is the typical American moviegoer: give me enough explosions, car chases and special effects and I'll believe I've been entertained. After the movie, I always ask the same question:
"Did you like it?"
Here's how it went down this time:
"Did you like it?"
"Yes."
"Which did you like better? Iron Man or Hulk?"
"Iron Man."
"Why?"
He thought for a moment. I waited for it. Different fathers get the 'dad rush' from different things. Will this at bat yield a home run? Will this report card deliver all A's? Will this kick produce the winning soccer goal? (By the way, he's 2 out of those three). For me, this could be one of those moments. Will he get the criticism correct? Would he accurately see the main flaw in The Incredible Hulk at such a young age?
I waited with baited breath as we fastened our seat belts.
He drew a breath:
"In Iron Man, Iron Man was a real person. The Hulk was a cartoon and looked cartoony."
He nailed it. And on Father's Day, no less.
I don't need to go into much detail about Ang Lee's previous Hulk or how this film relates to that one, etc. Bruce Banner (Ed Norton) is already the Hulk here. A quick montage during the opening credits catches us up to where we need to be. The action quickly begins in Brazil where a reclusive Bruce Banner has taken a job in a soda pop factory while, after hours, he learns Brazilian (?!) anger management techniques to keep from Hulking out.
From imdb.com:
The Hulk as a chase movie (Ross chasing Bruce to regain him as a military possession) and a 'human' story is actually very compelling, well written and well-executed. The first two thirds of the movie were great and on par with any high-caliber Summer-type blockbuster. But then comes act III and with it the two main problems with the film:
1. Too many conflicts. There are too many story lines for this type of film. The same issue occurred with Spider-Man 3. Was that movie about Sandman, Venom, Son of Green Goblin, the relationship with Betty Brandt, the relationship with Mary Jane or good Peter vs. bad, dancing Peter? By trying to cram that much in, while keeping an acceptable running time you edit each component down to a point where they're rushed and potentially removable. Doc Ock gets his own movie but Venom gets 15 minutes of screen time? Ridiculous. Since when do we require so much to be satisfied as an audience?
Here, Tim Roth is introduced as a military zealot who admires the Hulk's size and strength and wants to be like him, taking a modified Gamma injection that goes horribly wrong. There's no motivation given for him doing this. The screenwriting team believing the Hulk needs one more adversary (which he didn't) and a Good Hulk vs. Bad Hulk climax (more on that below). Will the love between Bruce and Betty survive? The relationship between Ross and Bruce? Ross and Betty (his daughter)? And then the tacked on introduction to the next Hulk's villian, a nebbish scientist played (annoyingly) by Tim Blake Nelson that conducts an experiment on Bruce which leads absolutely nowhere. Why cram so much in and edit it all down to being insignficant?
2. The largest issue, getting back to my son's comment: The CGI absolutely sucks. The Hulk looks like a cartoon character in a 'real world'. The Hulk, essentially, is Roger Rabbit. In Jurassic Park you know there aren't really dinosaurs, but the CGI is flawless enough to believe the universe they've created. The dinosaurs, onscreen, are real. Same with T2. The Hulk (and Tim Roth's 'Bad Hulk') looks so fake and misplaced within an otherwise tangible universe that it takes you completely out of the movie. You can't care about cartoon characters so you don't care about The Hulk which is fatal for a character that requires the audience's empathy. Why CGI realism and technology seems to be going backward is a very strange question given the budget of these films.
But that it makes The Hulk forgetable is so simple a 7-year old can see it.
One interesting aside:
An accidently cut Bruce's blood drips into a full pre-capped soda bottle on the bottling assembly line. The blood dissolves into the soda, is shipped to the US and is consumed by cameo-ed Stan Lee who we learn in a later conversation (but don't see or get any follow up) gets 'Gamma Poisoning.' It's a lazy plot device wherein Ross can quickly find the origin of the soda and the location of Bruce.
This is the one thing that stuck with me from my Hulk experience. We are to assume that the relaxed quality control standards since this occurs in Brazil, that would permit this to occur. Could this happen in the US (bleeding assembly line workers dripping into my Diet Coke)? You hear urban legends of mice in the chili and a fingertip in the chicken nuggets. You hear about people bringing appropriately gross items into restaurants to pull a scam. Blood in the Brazilian soda. The one thing Hulk left me with: no more Joya for me.
I'm not a Father's Day guy. It's a fake made up holiday built to sell cards and ties and knick knack crap with green felt on it. I demand no money be spent on me outside of a few homemade cards that I'll keep forever. BUT I will take advantage to spend a little 'guy time' with the little dude at the movies. Now, I get some criticism for taking they 7-year-old to the non-horror, big budget summer films as long as they're PG-13 and I've done some due diligence. It makes me happy to know that we'll do that together for years to come (until he's 15 or so and I'm no longer cool). He loves movies, he loves movie hype and typically likes everything he sees--to me he is the typical American moviegoer: give me enough explosions, car chases and special effects and I'll believe I've been entertained. After the movie, I always ask the same question:
"Did you like it?"
Here's how it went down this time:
"Did you like it?"
"Yes."
"Which did you like better? Iron Man or Hulk?"
"Iron Man."
"Why?"
He thought for a moment. I waited for it. Different fathers get the 'dad rush' from different things. Will this at bat yield a home run? Will this report card deliver all A's? Will this kick produce the winning soccer goal? (By the way, he's 2 out of those three). For me, this could be one of those moments. Will he get the criticism correct? Would he accurately see the main flaw in The Incredible Hulk at such a young age?
I waited with baited breath as we fastened our seat belts.
He drew a breath:
"In Iron Man, Iron Man was a real person. The Hulk was a cartoon and looked cartoony."
He nailed it. And on Father's Day, no less.
I don't need to go into much detail about Ang Lee's previous Hulk or how this film relates to that one, etc. Bruce Banner (Ed Norton) is already the Hulk here. A quick montage during the opening credits catches us up to where we need to be. The action quickly begins in Brazil where a reclusive Bruce Banner has taken a job in a soda pop factory while, after hours, he learns Brazilian (?!) anger management techniques to keep from Hulking out.
From imdb.com:
[Bruce Banner] desperately hunts for a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unbridled force of rage within him. Cut off from a life he knew and the woman he loves, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler), Banner struggles to avoid the obsessive pursuit of his nemesis, General Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt), and the military machinery that seeks to exploit his power. But all are soon confronted with a monstrous new adversary known as The Abomination (Tim Roth), whose destructive strength exceeds even that of The Hulk.
The Hulk as a chase movie (Ross chasing Bruce to regain him as a military possession) and a 'human' story is actually very compelling, well written and well-executed. The first two thirds of the movie were great and on par with any high-caliber Summer-type blockbuster. But then comes act III and with it the two main problems with the film:
1. Too many conflicts. There are too many story lines for this type of film. The same issue occurred with Spider-Man 3. Was that movie about Sandman, Venom, Son of Green Goblin, the relationship with Betty Brandt, the relationship with Mary Jane or good Peter vs. bad, dancing Peter? By trying to cram that much in, while keeping an acceptable running time you edit each component down to a point where they're rushed and potentially removable. Doc Ock gets his own movie but Venom gets 15 minutes of screen time? Ridiculous. Since when do we require so much to be satisfied as an audience?
Here, Tim Roth is introduced as a military zealot who admires the Hulk's size and strength and wants to be like him, taking a modified Gamma injection that goes horribly wrong. There's no motivation given for him doing this. The screenwriting team believing the Hulk needs one more adversary (which he didn't) and a Good Hulk vs. Bad Hulk climax (more on that below). Will the love between Bruce and Betty survive? The relationship between Ross and Bruce? Ross and Betty (his daughter)? And then the tacked on introduction to the next Hulk's villian, a nebbish scientist played (annoyingly) by Tim Blake Nelson that conducts an experiment on Bruce which leads absolutely nowhere. Why cram so much in and edit it all down to being insignficant?
2. The largest issue, getting back to my son's comment: The CGI absolutely sucks. The Hulk looks like a cartoon character in a 'real world'. The Hulk, essentially, is Roger Rabbit. In Jurassic Park you know there aren't really dinosaurs, but the CGI is flawless enough to believe the universe they've created. The dinosaurs, onscreen, are real. Same with T2. The Hulk (and Tim Roth's 'Bad Hulk') looks so fake and misplaced within an otherwise tangible universe that it takes you completely out of the movie. You can't care about cartoon characters so you don't care about The Hulk which is fatal for a character that requires the audience's empathy. Why CGI realism and technology seems to be going backward is a very strange question given the budget of these films.
But that it makes The Hulk forgetable is so simple a 7-year old can see it.
One interesting aside:
An accidently cut Bruce's blood drips into a full pre-capped soda bottle on the bottling assembly line. The blood dissolves into the soda, is shipped to the US and is consumed by cameo-ed Stan Lee who we learn in a later conversation (but don't see or get any follow up) gets 'Gamma Poisoning.' It's a lazy plot device wherein Ross can quickly find the origin of the soda and the location of Bruce.
This is the one thing that stuck with me from my Hulk experience. We are to assume that the relaxed quality control standards since this occurs in Brazil, that would permit this to occur. Could this happen in the US (bleeding assembly line workers dripping into my Diet Coke)? You hear urban legends of mice in the chili and a fingertip in the chicken nuggets. You hear about people bringing appropriately gross items into restaurants to pull a scam. Blood in the Brazilian soda. The one thing Hulk left me with: no more Joya for me.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Ringtones: Starved For Attention
Cell phone technology has bypassed convenience into the neighborhood of necessity. Trends show that cell phones are replacing land lines in homes and instant messaging via cell phone is replacing face to face conversation. This new way of life, however, comes at a very large price: me having to hear your cell phone ring blare out the latest musical stylings of Kanye West and Maroon 5.
Why do people believe that a song blasting from their phone upon each incoming call is somehow noteworthy? Don't get me wrong. I'm not the grumpy old man who is yelling at the youngsters to turn the music down. I love music and weave purposefully selected tunes throughout the show every week. Music is vital. Me hearing your idea of good or clever music EVERY TIME someone calls you, however, borders on moronic. Here's what we non-morons believe is going on.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO HEAR THEIR MUSIC
In the 80s morons used ghetto blasters (or, if you prefer, the less ethnic 'jambox') for this purpose. Music was no longer a private pursuit. "I like MC Hammer and everyone needs to know!" In the 90s it was trash-can-lid-sized car speakers distributing thumping bass that would rattle both windows and dental fillings. Luckily, history shows us that the life span for these types of displays goes from amazement ("That portable radio is the size of a refrigerator...cool!") to disdain ("How many times in a row can one possibly enjoy an MC Hammer song?") to outright ridicule ("What an idiot...who still carries a jambox around?"). So if songs as ringtone are the annoying public music display of the 00s they, like their ancestors, will eventually go away. Do us a favor and expedite that process.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO MARVEL AT THEIR TECHNOLOGICAL PROWESS Your ability to insert a song as a ringer does not impress us. It does not take talent for anyone (the phone owner and the countless innocent that must share in your love for Nickleback or the Sex and the City theme) to download any song off the internet in 10 seconds. It's lost it's novelty.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO KNOW HOW MUCH THEIR DEDICATED TO THEIR MUSIC
Certain people incapable of developing their own identity can attempt to claim one through their love of a musical artist or genre. Their new identity might say, "I'm depressed and Vitaman D-free just like Robert Smith from The Cure," or "Howdy, y'all. My Wranglers are pressed and my hat is shaped just like George Strait's." We assume, in public, other George Strait-jeaned-and-hatted folks can easily identify one another as kindred and birth a new country and western microsociety. The song blast ringer cuts through that. Now, upon each incoming call, Rhianna can cry out like a mating call immediately attracting others who may also need to stand under an umbrella.
People aren't as excited about JT (or Rhianna or Usher or Carrie Underwood, etc etc etc) as you are...I promise.
MORONS DESPERATELY NEED ATTENTION
Boiled down to its essence, the only reason you have a song as a ringtone is to be stared at. When the phone starts singing, everyone around you will invariably search out the source. You like it when we look at you when your phone goes off. Perhaps the only thing more annoying than the snippet of Brooks and Dunn blaring for all to hear is that little smirk you give when we look at you. You're thinking, "Yeah...that's right...my ringtone is Flo Rida...pretty cool, huh?"
No. We promise. It really isn't.
Why do people believe that a song blasting from their phone upon each incoming call is somehow noteworthy? Don't get me wrong. I'm not the grumpy old man who is yelling at the youngsters to turn the music down. I love music and weave purposefully selected tunes throughout the show every week. Music is vital. Me hearing your idea of good or clever music EVERY TIME someone calls you, however, borders on moronic. Here's what we non-morons believe is going on.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO HEAR THEIR MUSIC
In the 80s morons used ghetto blasters (or, if you prefer, the less ethnic 'jambox') for this purpose. Music was no longer a private pursuit. "I like MC Hammer and everyone needs to know!" In the 90s it was trash-can-lid-sized car speakers distributing thumping bass that would rattle both windows and dental fillings. Luckily, history shows us that the life span for these types of displays goes from amazement ("That portable radio is the size of a refrigerator...cool!") to disdain ("How many times in a row can one possibly enjoy an MC Hammer song?") to outright ridicule ("What an idiot...who still carries a jambox around?"). So if songs as ringtone are the annoying public music display of the 00s they, like their ancestors, will eventually go away. Do us a favor and expedite that process.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO MARVEL AT THEIR TECHNOLOGICAL PROWESS Your ability to insert a song as a ringer does not impress us. It does not take talent for anyone (the phone owner and the countless innocent that must share in your love for Nickleback or the Sex and the City theme) to download any song off the internet in 10 seconds. It's lost it's novelty.
MORONS REQUIRE OTHERS TO KNOW HOW MUCH THEIR DEDICATED TO THEIR MUSIC
Certain people incapable of developing their own identity can attempt to claim one through their love of a musical artist or genre. Their new identity might say, "I'm depressed and Vitaman D-free just like Robert Smith from The Cure," or "Howdy, y'all. My Wranglers are pressed and my hat is shaped just like George Strait's." We assume, in public, other George Strait-jeaned-and-hatted folks can easily identify one another as kindred and birth a new country and western microsociety. The song blast ringer cuts through that. Now, upon each incoming call, Rhianna can cry out like a mating call immediately attracting others who may also need to stand under an umbrella.
People aren't as excited about JT (or Rhianna or Usher or Carrie Underwood, etc etc etc) as you are...I promise.
MORONS DESPERATELY NEED ATTENTION
Boiled down to its essence, the only reason you have a song as a ringtone is to be stared at. When the phone starts singing, everyone around you will invariably search out the source. You like it when we look at you when your phone goes off. Perhaps the only thing more annoying than the snippet of Brooks and Dunn blaring for all to hear is that little smirk you give when we look at you. You're thinking, "Yeah...that's right...my ringtone is Flo Rida...pretty cool, huh?"
No. We promise. It really isn't.
Monday, June 16, 2008
JOE LOSES 22 LBS...III(?)
One thing I'm inclined to say over and over (especially on the air) is the phrase "In case you're new to the show." There is an on-air necessity to say this, or at least talk to new listeners to shepherd them into the fold. On this blog I won't do that...much.
In case you're new to the show, one thing that pops up again and again is my desire to lose a few pounds. Long long long time listeners enjoy needling me via email about my repeated 'failure' when it comes to this.
A brief history: Three new years ago I began an on-air weight loss/fitness program with Wade Spence who owns Platypus Fitness at Airline and Alameda. Of course, the plan was simply diet and exercise. Wade hooked me up to a fancy mask and computer thing and I did some cardio which determined my ideal cardio heart rate for burning fat. I did a South Beach-type diet and went walking/running about 4 times a week and dropped about 18 lbs over 8 weeks.
Fast forward a year to this past new years. The weight was back and it was time once again to do something about it so I talked to the manager of the new Gold's Gym who was quick to offer a trainer and free membership to do it all again on the air. Well two weeks into it that guy was fired (for giving away a lot of free stuff) and that all went away as did my motivation to lose the weight.
So here I go again. I have joined an (unmentioned) gym and I'm back at it. I will do updates on here, but probably not on air since that's getting boring. The amount of weight to lose is still 22 lbs. That is my stasis--22 extra lbs. of goo. Curse the people whose natural metabolism keeps them fit and trim. My natural metabolism has me 22 lbs. overweight. When I'm exercising/eating well the weight slowly goes away. When I quit it comes back and plateus at 22 lbs heavy.
I'm doing my own thing of exercising about 4 times a week and doing some weight training. I've been doing that consistently for 2 weeks now and have dropped 3.4 lbs. (which puts me at +18.6)
I've heard one bit of advice recently that I've taken to heart which is that while losing 20 lbs seems daunting, 2 lbs a week is easy. Just repeat for 10 weeks (or whatever it is you need to get to your goal). So this is my new method. I'll update you from to time to time as milestones are met.
In case you're new to the show, one thing that pops up again and again is my desire to lose a few pounds. Long long long time listeners enjoy needling me via email about my repeated 'failure' when it comes to this.
A brief history: Three new years ago I began an on-air weight loss/fitness program with Wade Spence who owns Platypus Fitness at Airline and Alameda. Of course, the plan was simply diet and exercise. Wade hooked me up to a fancy mask and computer thing and I did some cardio which determined my ideal cardio heart rate for burning fat. I did a South Beach-type diet and went walking/running about 4 times a week and dropped about 18 lbs over 8 weeks.
Fast forward a year to this past new years. The weight was back and it was time once again to do something about it so I talked to the manager of the new Gold's Gym who was quick to offer a trainer and free membership to do it all again on the air. Well two weeks into it that guy was fired (for giving away a lot of free stuff) and that all went away as did my motivation to lose the weight.
So here I go again. I have joined an (unmentioned) gym and I'm back at it. I will do updates on here, but probably not on air since that's getting boring. The amount of weight to lose is still 22 lbs. That is my stasis--22 extra lbs. of goo. Curse the people whose natural metabolism keeps them fit and trim. My natural metabolism has me 22 lbs. overweight. When I'm exercising/eating well the weight slowly goes away. When I quit it comes back and plateus at 22 lbs heavy.
I'm doing my own thing of exercising about 4 times a week and doing some weight training. I've been doing that consistently for 2 weeks now and have dropped 3.4 lbs. (which puts me at +18.6)
I've heard one bit of advice recently that I've taken to heart which is that while losing 20 lbs seems daunting, 2 lbs a week is easy. Just repeat for 10 weeks (or whatever it is you need to get to your goal). So this is my new method. I'll update you from to time to time as milestones are met.
Out with the old!
Here is the entire Joe's News and Joe's Hot Links section from the previous website:
CORPUS CHRISTI FILM COMMISSION DISCUSSION LINKS:
NEW! - How Texas Lost it's Film Shoots to Louisiana, etc.
Texas Film Commission Website
Which TX cities have Film Commissions besides us?
How much money was spent on film in TX and where
JOE'S HOT LINKS
--6/06/08 - Top 15 Bars in Cinema - Click Here
--6/06/08 - George Takei (Sulu)'s Gay Star Trek Wedding - Click Here
--6/06/08 - AOL has ranked the top 25 animated movies - Click Here
--6/06/08 - The Lost Art of the Celebrity/Super Hero Team Up - Click Here
--6/06/08 - Superbad team heads for Springfield - Click Here
--6/06/08 - Hulk Smash Fun - Click Here
--6/06/08 - The Simpsons Turn 20 - Click Here
--5/17/08 - Miley Cyrus's KWM Tattoo Click Here
--4/25/08 - The Star Wars Mentos Commerical - Click Here
--4/25/08 - CC7D 2008 Website
--4/25/08 - Fan photo of SuperJay
--4/25/08 - Zombie Joe - The only picture of Joe on the site
--3/21/08 - Stuff White People Like
--Joe's Movie Page (best of the year, etc.) - Click HERE
--We Dare you to Watch: Northiby's Big Spider Bite
--I learned about this from Kevin Smith's podcast: SModcast. Check it out!
--The String Game - If you get past level 18, email me.
New Website!
Hey there. Well it was time to update the website. The front page had become way too complicated. Now I make all my own websites (which is why they suck) and I do it all in html. No dreamweaver, etc. for me. Also, no graphic design. I don't want to even tell you how I do my pictures and logos...embarassing.
The new website should be easier to navigate. This blog will take the place of Joe's Hot Links and Joe's News from the previous home page design. This will also be where I'll discuss Joe Loses 20 (22) Lbs. which will be my first new entry. I'm calling off the MySpace Friend of the Week for now and I'm not going to repost the Book Club page. In fact, I'll comment on the Book Club failure in a future entry.
I've always had high hopes for the website in the sense of it being a fun place to go. Lack of web design experience and lack of vision made the previous website so cluttered and hard to read. I hope this will keep things more simple and easier to grow.
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